Archive for December, 2007

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Ewww.

December 28, 2007

 That is all.

From  IDontLikeYouInThatWay

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So let it be done

December 18, 2007

So you think this is the quiet time, the weekend before the 73 bowl games in 21 days start.  The only noise is the sound and the fury from Detroit’s empty blighted urban canyons, echoing off the desolate shores of Lake Michigan, the sounds of Detroit Free Press reporters and bloggers still claiming that your favorite big-headed blue eyed nutjob of a coach is still heading to north to his beer-soaked mistress and her Big House.

And then all hell breaks loose when the coach of the team that you make mighty fun of, but whose game you still love attending, has had a secret meeting in Toledo, Ohio.  And then the next  you know, the echoes from the frozen north take on a different tone, because they are now tinged with arrogant triumph instead of the embarassed near desperation of the week before:

 From the overjoyed Wolverine (world’s largest weasels!) Nation at mgoblog.

Meanwhile, something like a statewide psychosis has broken out in the home of the BCS Division (formerly Division 1-A) Mountaineers.  Now would be the time I would mock, poke fun, and generally giggle about West Virginia’s coach abandoning them for the richer, greener and more frozen pa$ture$ of the Big House and the Big Ten Plus One, but I think I’ll refrain, just in case some random Mountaineers find what I’m saying and bombard me with personal attacks.  But in all honesty, I feel awful for them.  The fact that Rich Roddriguez was from West Virginia was a tremendous source of pride to them, whether they would admit now or not.  Let’s face it: “genius” and “West Virginia” are not two  terms that often go together (and I know all about the long list of famous West Virginians people, including Homer Hickam and John Nash, who are geniuses, so calm down), but Coach Rod really is, football wise. (If you don’t believe me, I would direct you to the  1998 Tulane Football team, which finished the season at 12-0.  The kids on that team all had to know how to read to get in. I even had football players in some of my classes.)  

Coach Rod made WVU football relevant again, not just on the outskirts of Big Ten Plus One country, but nationwide.  He maximized the talent he had and got the state and university positive press. Mountaineer fans thought they had a man for the long haul after he turned down Alabama last year.  I’m sure that last year, heck,  I’m sure that on November 23, 2007 at about 7 p.m., the sky seemed like the limit for West Virginia University.  (Ask Virginia Tech what a consistently good football team can do for your school. Might want to ask them where they found Frank Beamer, as he seems like a rare breed these days).

But BCS Mountaineer fans ended the season on a spectacularly bad note, losing to a team that has been breathtakingly awful this year.  One favorite son, (REDACTED) (met his cousin the other evening) is coaching in the conference that Big East fans believe to be their nemesis.  Now they have discovered that they did not in fact have a loyal son who would never leave.  They had a mercenary who was waiting for the right job to come open ( BTW, I think he may have just as soon as bolted for LSU if Coach Miles had left. It’s nothing personal. It was just business.) Coach Rodriguez, genius and pioneer of the spread told the nation’s number one recruit, his team, and last and least, his bosses at WVU he was leaving.  In that order.  He screwed the university over royally.

Welcome to the big time, West Virginia.

Now go and make some other school feel the same agony. 

 As an LSU fan, I have to admit that I’m happy. The distractions that ESPN and media outlets from the frozen north were creating were starting to cause concern; our boys have enough to do healing, working on not getting 150 yards in penalties, and dealing with the departure of one assistant coach. The constant questioning on if/ when Coach Le$ was heading to Michigan could not have helped in game prep.

But that’s over now.  To quote a little Cecil B. DeMille:

So let it be written, so let it be done.

The SEC’s Newest Trophy!

December 13, 2007

On September 20, 2008, another great trophy will be added to the annals of college football, celebrating a brand new tradition unlike any other. 

In the Big Ten, there’s Paul Bunyan’s Axe. Floyd of Rosedale. The Old Oaken Bucket. The Pac-10 has the Apple Cup.   There are games which are known merely by their titles: The Third Saturday in October. The Civil War. The Game Formerly Known as the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.” 

And, depending on which school you went to, there are several permutations of “The Game.”

The SEC (Kickin’ Yo’ Ass for 75 Years) is naturally full of such games. By and large, there hasn’t been a huge emphasis on the trophies for the bitterest rivalries in our conference.  To add a little luster to a relatively new rivaly, LSU and Arkansas play for the Boot, 170 pounds of shiny brass in the shape of Hillbilly Central and Coon-Ass Land. 

The boot (lsu-arkansas).jpg

But there’s a new trophy that will outshine everything we’ve ever  seen in college football. Commissioned by Wayne Huzienga and Arthur Blank, with a special donation from the D’Angelo Hall Foundation, it is a masterwork created by the masters of the material, Tiffany, with the natural touches of Paloma Picasso and a classic elegance that says everything without saying a word. 

Ladies, gentlemen, Big East fans, I reveal to you the Pat Forde-Larry Brown Memorial Trophy, awarded to the winner of the 2008 Alabama-Arkansas contest. *

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/syridian/399252640/

*This of course, assumes that both coaches will actually still be at Arkansas or Alabama by September of 2008. We reserve the right to melt down the trophy for a charm bracelet at any time.

Douchebags of the Year

December 7, 2007

This is not a football or sports related story, other than the fact it concerns Virginia Tech and Penn State. Virginia Tech has many lovely alumni, some of whom I am lucky enough to call friend, or landlord. They love their school. One of the nicest men I have ever met is a Penn State alumnus. He rocks.

And then there are these morons, two creatures ( I hesitate to call them animals, as that would insult dogs, cats, and birds, which all recognize sadness in people, and seek to comfort them) who apparently have nothing resembling any human decency, or sympathy for anyone who is not themselves:

“We were just being outrageous! Waahh!  How dare people at Virginia Tech send us death threats! Waaah! It was only 32 people! Waah!”

A word of warning to those who invited these whack jobs to your party: people that lacking in empathy are the kind of people who will put ya’ll on the side of a milk carton. Penn State administration, you might want to look at getting these two evaluated.

 Sorry for the non-football related rant.

If football had an NIT

December 7, 2007

Seriously, this one of the funnier and more creative things I’ve seen in a while.

I guess if you’re a Minnesota fan (six-time national champs! before anyone reading this was born!), you’ve got to have a sense of humor.

That, and all that time they spend indoors drinking, since they live in Minnesota.

Who’s coaching at the Big House?

December 7, 2007

‘Cause it’s not Coach Mile$.  Check out this blog if you care.

Bill Martin, LSU fans around the world thank you:

And the MLBGG sends a salute to Sylvester Croom, the SEC Coach of the Year.

I’d like to write something clever about Klansmen rolling over in their graves, and suddenly becoming cold in hell, but I got nothing.

Welcome to America’s best college football

December 6, 2007

Per the Wizard of Odds, Arkansas has a new coach.

I love “contracts” in college football.

Update: Perhaps realizing that he wasn’t quite ready for a fan base that FOIAs the coach’s text messages, hires plane to tow anti-coach banners at games, and follows his movements via websites that report where jets are headed,  Jim Grobe has decided to stay at Wake Forest.

Spectaculinks

December 6, 2007

The Ohio State University is a damned mystery – Geaux Tuscaloosa

That personality that got let out of its cage at the 2007 Cocktail Party , but who was chained to a wall against Tennessee? That’s who I’m talkin’ about– Georgia Sports Blog

Mississippi State and Louisiana Monroe are BCS worthy– Football Diet

We’re not snobs, we’re just better than you: The All-SEC Team– secsports.com…. BTW, one person on this list has a book written about him.  Even if you can’t stand Ole Miss, or are a fan of an inferior conference, check it out.  Mr. Oher, buy your sister and mama something from Tiffany when you’re at NFL draft headquarters, whether it’s this year or next.

The Official Holiday of the Idiot Brigade, a holy day in New Orleans, and a happy day for Southern girls, no matter where they are.

My new favorite Big 12 team

December 5, 2007

Sometimes, all it takes is one move to make a new fan (or a least a person who viewed your program with total disdain feel some small measure of positive interest).

Coach-for-life/ Congressman/ Interim Athletic Director Tom Osborne, you are classy with a capital C.

Sailin’ Takes Me Away

December 5, 2007

It may not be over, but it appears that Michigan really, truly may have screwed up if the administration really wanted Coach Le$ to be Michigan’s next coach. It looks like Michigan suffers from a curious mix of mid-major type cheapness (hey, if $500,000 is good enough for Joe Paterno, who is this character to be asking for $3 million?) and SEC (specifically, Alabama)-type entitlement (money shouldn’t matter, and you, Lester, should be willing to wait until we tell you we are ready for you to come kiss the feet of Ann Arbor.)

Fascinating stuff, courtesy of Straight Bangin’, which I found through the geniuses (too bad they love the Gators) at Everyday Should be Saturday.

The guys at Third Saturday in Blogtober also chime in from a rumor mill so fast, it’s powering a Vegas casino.

It seems like Michigan is trying to make Coach Mile$ decision easier every day: he can be the King of Lousiana, or he can be the Czar with the treacherous advisors (who don’t bother to call) at Michigan. Really, why go where they really don’t want you, especially when that “where” is under snow five months of the year?

C’mon baby! You know that andouille is better than brats!