Archive for the ‘G*d?’ Category

The Road to the Orange Bowl goes through Raymond James: Friday Night Liveblog

September 29, 2007

Yo. Since I went out last night, I am staying in this evening, and watching the WVU-USF game at home.  I’ve got everything I need: wine, cheese and wine and cheese.  I am ready.  I am in contact with the Queen Bee, West Virginia resident, hostess with the mostest, mother of Jack “My baseball” Bailey and Vanderbilt alumnus. I expect texts from the Insouciant Truth.

7:37 pm: the senile dude is talking, so he may be saying that makes sense, but I seriously doubt it. Now Mark May is talking. He is picking WVU, basically saying that the Mountaineers have too many weapons.

7:38: I just changed to “Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team 2.” Coverage of the first quarter will be somewhat limited, because this is the first episode of the girls at training camp. I’m hooked on this show. One of the rookie candidates this year is deaf.  She made the evil dance instructor cry when she did her solo dance.

8:15: the heaviest girl at the DCC training camp weighs 138 pounds.  Yeesh.

WVU was stopped on the first drive. There is obviously a lot of excitement in Tampa. The best way for the Moutaineers to take out that excitement is to score two touchdowns in rather rapid fashion. The longer the crowd is in it, the longer the Bulls will be.

First turnover of the game by South Florida. WVU recovers. The Mountaineers get nothing despite the short field. Coach Rod looks like he’s aboout to stroke out.  The Bulls have the ball back, and are driving.

That may have been the worst pass I have ever seen. That includes the QB from Mississippi State.  USF 7, WVU 0.  As of this time, I don’t want to hear anything about low scores in the SEC being a result of bad offense, and how SEC offense is downright boring compared to the scillintilating Big East.  This season’s premier Big East teams have combined for five turnovers in one quarter.

Can we say “blown coverage” and “poor tackling”? USF 14, WVU 0.  I read that Coach Rod’s philosophy was to keep his best athletes on offense. That’s perfectly clear from that last touchdown.  (Of course, at LSU, the kicker can score a 15 yard touchdown, and the defensive tackles run the 4X100 in high school. Matt Flynn is probably the worst athlete of the 22 starters. If (f*ck) Florida does the unthinkable, and ends up facing WVU in some BCS bowl, assuming the Mountaineers win tonight, Tim Tebow would have 250 yards rushing.)

Oops. That drive didn’t end well for WVU. FOUR turnovers? In one quarter? WVU’s on pace to beat Mississippi State’s numbers against LSU.  Well, that drive didn’t end well for USF. FOUR turnovers? Boy, this is some quality Big East offense. I feel privileged to be watching. This is an ESPN instant classic, for sure. EIGHT turnovers with six minutes to go in the first half.  No texts from The Truth yet.

But still, I can hear the sounds of jets firing up in Knoxville and Auburn, heading for Tampa.

Uh oh. Pat White is limping. My Mountaineer boosters had best hope they can inject that with something and tape it up.

I don’t know what kind of snap that was.  So much for the touchdown chance. I would love to be in the that locker room at halftime. Coach Rod seriously does look like he will stroke out.

I just heard a commercial praising the “four Heisman candidates from the Big East.” Um, no. The Big East lost one when Louisville lost to Syracuse, following the loss to perennial SEC football doormat Kentucky.  And if some things don’t happen very differently in the second half, the Big East will be down to one. And his team still hasn’t played a game against a real opponent.  Ya’ll KNOW how much I HATE to say this, but (f*ck) Fliorida has the front runner for the Heisman right now, and if (f*ck) Florida wins next weekend (please, L*rd, Shiva and the Furies, you owe us), I’d hand the hardware to Tebow on the Eye of the Tiger.  And the Heisman trophy “the most revered of all trophies,” which it is? Please.  Much like when Milli Vanilli won a Grammy for best new artist, the Heisman hurt its credibility when Gino Toretta was declared the best football player in the nation that year.  And Jason White (2003 award winner, who had his bell rung in the only national championship game that was played that year, Trojan fans)? Puh-leeeze.  Speaking of greatest players, I checked a list of greatest college players by team on Rivals.com. Texas’s final two were Vince Young and Earl Campbell. It is a testament to the power of Earl Campbell’s legacy that he didn’t lose to Vince Young by that much, despite the fact he was in a Texas uniform thirty years ago.  Just a little side note. I was always an Earl Campbell fan. Thought I’d talk about it.

But seriously, I’d like for WVU to still be a top 5 team when I arrive in Morgantown on October 20th. No texts from The Truth as of yet.

John Taylor for Arlington County President! Heck, John Taylor for PRESIDENT. Mr. Taylor’s team has a big game next weekend, as does mine.  It will be fun to watch at least some of it with him in a red dress. ( Most of you have no idea what that means, but it amuses me immensely.  The soon-to-be Mrs. Taylor would be a proud member of the RWA (Red Wine Association). My West Virginia people would love her, except for her slight Virginia Tech obsession. She’s a fab lady.)

Um, that was probably not the way to start off the second half.  But again, South Florida has played a big-time team in a big time atmosphere.

Apparently, Pat White is not coming back out. 21-6, USF.

Go AUBURN! (If not a victory, at least a high ankle sprain for Tebow.) More on the Florida offense (Tebow). He has an 890 SAT. He is a running quarterback. His first instinct is to pull the ball down and run. He had 20-something carries last week and ran for two touchdowns against Ole Miss.   Last year, he played when (f*ck) Florida needed a a mobile threat under center.  And he’s white.  Hallelujah!  Things done changed!

WVU has 12 minutes to keep from going to the Gator Bowl, and the Big East has 12 minutes left of three Heisman candidates.

The Big East is down to one Heisman candidate.  Final score 21-13, University of South Florida.

I am not picking against South Florida for the rest of the season. The new Big East Game of the Year is South Florida-Cincinnati.

I just heard the Volunteer Booster Gulfstream passing over my apartment. That Jim Leavitt is some kind of coach. From nothing to a BCS conference contender in eleven years…imagine what he could do with say a team with decades of tradition, and a stadium seating over 100,000 (or 92, 000, if Michigan does not win the Big Ten and Coach Miles heads to up Ann Arbor.)

From The Insouciant Truth: “USF is the best call in the handgun state and the Big East.”

(You know I love ya’ll. I’ll get the new Insouciant Princess some WVU related gear.)

I’m out.  XOXO, MLBGG

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