Archive for the ‘Private Messages’ Category

If football had an NIT

December 7, 2007

Seriously, this one of the funnier and more creative things I’ve seen in a while.

I guess if you’re a Minnesota fan (six-time national champs! before anyone reading this was born!), you’ve got to have a sense of humor.

That, and all that time they spend indoors drinking, since they live in Minnesota.

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The Homestretch, Part One

November 15, 2007

Wow. I missed what turned out to be another fantastic weekend of college football, and I’ve just got to make a few comments. First of all, I’d like to congratulate Sylvester Croom and the Mississippi State Bulldogs for winning the battle of Alabama, and announce that the MLBGG will no longer use the term “Croomed.” I think that he’s earned that, along with not getting fired this season. Beating this year’s Kentucky, Alabama and Auburn is no fluke.

Image Hosting by Picoodle.com

From deepsouthsports.net. Please visit the site for the most delightful photoshop ever.

Also, don’t get too fired up, Illinois fans. Just watch and see if you don’t lose to Northwestern. That’s the beauty and the pain that comes with Ron Zook. (f*ck) Florida fans may be annoying, but they’re not nuts. That being said, you will have crazy talent coming into your school during the Zook era. That talent will always end up in the Capitol One or Outback Bowl, but you will have talent.

Now, on to the future. There’s so much hatred and contempt coming up in the next few weeks, beginning with this Saturday and the Ohio State-Michigan game. And then Thanksgiving weekend is a veritable hatefest: Kansas and Missouri (140 years of real, genuine contempt); The Egg Bowl (Ole Miss and Mississippi State); Texas & Texas A&M; The Apple Cup between Washington and Washington State; Virginia Tech (salt of the earth) vs. Virginia (brie eating wine drinking snobs); and what I affectionately call the “Hole in the Ground Game” between Auburn and Alabama. ( For those of you not swift enough to figure it out, the optimal result for me would be for the ground to open up under the stadium. It’s officially known as the Iron Bowl.)

But I am getting waaaay ahead of myself here.  Before we start off with the Thursday night game, let’s start with the most important game of the week for both LSU and Michigan fans. LSU is visiting Oxford, Mississippi (speed limit 18 on campus) to attempt to stay on track for a shot in the BCS title game (win out, and we’re in), and to solidify Coach Les’ resume as he heads to Michigan. The bookies have us at 18 point favorites over Ole Miss. I will be the first to admit that there is no way LSU will win by that much. I worry, in fact, that my Tigers  will be on cruise control, having won the West this past weekend. But, the Tigers do have the terrible memories of the game we should have lost to Ole Miss last year, and the fact that this is an away game to keep them on track.  Ole Miss has also taken some other top SEC teams to the last quarter,  and the boys will know that as well.   Despite having to face Arkansas for the Boot next Friday, I do not think anyone at LSU is looking ahead to the championship game. No one wants to be playing in some New Year’s Day Bowl, or at this point, even in a regular BCS bowl.  I foresee, as usual, a slow start that will give me a headache, and a pull away due to the sheer talent differential between the two schools. Plus, Ed Oregeron may bigger balls and less brain that my beloved, soon to be freezing his ass off, Coach Les.  LSU wins, but not anywhere close to the 18 point spread.

Thursday night, I’ll find myself cheering for the morons who stomped on the Eye of the Tiger last season. Oregon at Arizona is a huge game for the Ducks, since they were humilated by Arizona last year. A win keeps them in the national title picture, a loss, and they’re thinking about the Holiday Bowl (the Pac-10 really needs to work on some better tie-ins). I’ll be cheering for Arizona, but I think Oregon will run up the score.

Virginia Tech hosts a Miami team in total disarray. If it weren’t Miami, I might feel bad. Miami’s only shot at this game is the fact Virginia Tech has virtually no offense. Tech wins, but in a closer game than it should be. A couple of big plays by Miami’s defense could turn this a very unpleasant Senior Day in Blacksburg, but here’s hoping that won’t happen.

West Virginia at Cincinnati (Can anyone please tell me what a Bearcat is? Please?) This could be a trap game for the Mountaineers, as they had to labor mightily to beat Louisville at home.  Some of the media conspiracy is picking Cincy to win this game (anyone who thinks Brian Kelly is at Cincy next year, raise your hand. No takers? Didn’t think so).  I’ll go with the Mountaineers, just because I expect to see some of these people soon for a Christmas party.  I would note that the Bearcats have a better defense than Louisville, and are officially the second best team in Ohio. Don’t screw this up, Mountaineers; the Orange Bowl committee is counting on your ticket sales.

Lloyd Carr’s last game: GO BIG BLUE! Seriously, the only reason I care about this game is that I want the winner of the Big Ten Plus One to have lost to a Division 1-AA school, and I also want Les to see what he’s getting into, and what he’s losing. Andouille is better than brats.

Wisconsin at Minnesota: In addition to heading to the Champs Sports Bowl in Orlando, Wisconsin, a pre-season sleeper pick for Big Ten champions, can console themselves with keeping Paul Bunyan’s axe.  (Terrible things will happen to me if Minnesota wins this game. Terrible.)

Boston College at Clemson: as always, the question is whether Clemson can put together a whole game. I say that this time, they can.  Clemson wins big.

Iowa State at Kansas: I’ve been hating on them all season. Since that seems to be doing them quite well, I will continue hating on them, and pick Iowa State, although the Cyclones will be lucky to lose by 30.

Missouri at Kansas State: this here, folks, is my real and genuine upset pick.  Missouri has been dazzling this season, and Kansas State has fallen off dramatically, losing to the Cyclones (ick) and being treated like an escaped ‘ho by Nebraska the last two weeks. Ron Prince and those K-State Wildcats need to redeem themselves, and heck, they might be pissed off by that Missouri t-shirt, too. ( If I were engaged in negative recruiting, I would sure point out how Missouri students are still celebrating confederate heroes. Worse than Ole Miss!) I think Missouri may get caught looking to next weekend, and Kansas State isn’t quite bad enough to look past. Kansas State in the upset.

Oklahoma at Texas Tech: Ah, the Red Raiders. They beat up on the Baylors of the world, and then when they run into the top half of the Big Twelve food chain, they get slapped around. I see no reason for that to stop this weekend. I think that Oklahoma, more than any other team in the Top 10 in the BCS, is on a mission. The past five or so years have not been all that great for the Sooners. They lost to LSU in a BCS title game that the media conspiracy (and annoying Pete Carroll) said they didn’t belong in. The 2005 season was wiped off the books thanks to a too-generous booster and some dumb kids who, lo and behold, acted like bad kids, and took money.  They did get screwed last year against Oregon, and then they lost to Boise State, last year’s America’s Darlings (and that was awesome).  I’m not sure that any team should really be thrilled about facing them from now through the bowls, because they’re going to open up a big can of whoop-ass on everyone they play.  Someone from Texas Tech will get broken on Saturday. (I’d just like to announce, so I can get back into Cliff and Heather’s house, that I am not pro-Sooner in any way, and I’m sure Texas will open a can of whoop-ass, too. Just not in the Big 12 title game.)

Two games I will be paying a lot of attention to, as either Georgia or Tennessee, both of which are very capable of beating LSU when they actually show up, will play the Tigers in Atlanta:

Kentucky at Georgia: I just don’t believe Georgia can keep it up week after week. I think the Bulldogs, beat Kentucky, but it will be a harder game than it should be.  The optimal result in this game for me is four overtimes (doesn’t matter who wins) and Matthew Stafford and/or (ok, especially) Knowshon Moreno suffering a severe ACL sprain, broken collarbone, or completely separated shoulder.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee:  Tennessee should win this game, like they should always beat Vanderbilt.  But Tennesse has a way of say, shutting down the number one pick in the 2008 NFL draft one week, and then needing to stop a two point conversion against a service academy the next. I can’t say the smart kids can’t do it, but they probably won’t.

(You may be more able to tell which team troubles me more from the above. )

Next week, the MLBGG bids goodbye to the Darren McFadden Experience and his coach, Houston Nutt, and I tell Rich Rodriguez that not only is Baton Rouge is a great place to raise a family, but why he should head back to Louisiana, where he first made his name as an offensive genius. 

Also, we’ll get a bunch of names who are supposedly up to be LSU’s next coach, and try to figure out where Tommy Tuberville is going next.  Texas A&M is apparently hoping they can do better with another person who coached in Alabama than with the last one. My Texas fans had best hope he doesn’t head to College Station.

GO DUKE!!

And welcome back to the NFL, Ricky. Hoped you visited rehab (no, no, no).

My heart needs the break

October 27, 2007

It’s Halloween weekend. Tonight I am resting and enjoying an evening by my lonesome. Tomorrow, I’m off to Virginia Beach for a….um..stroll around several establishments with a few dozen of my closest friends, and some people who scare me.  I will be a referee for Halloween, as I am a League Commissioner. ( We’ll be having a live draft on Saturday. I still have to go with my original number one pick, despite his absence from the festivities, instead of his best buddy. Youth before beauty! I know that almost no one knows what that meant, but that’s ok. It’s my dictatorship.) And thankfully, after last weekend’s near-death experience, LSU has a bye week, so I don’t have to worry about trying to find a TV to watch, staying sober enough to start watching a game at 9 p.m., or shattering the glass in whatever house or establishment I am watching the game.  Like every weekend, there are games of interest and importance, even if I’m not particularly absorbed. We’ll go backwards this week, and start with games in the lesser conferences. 

WVU at Rutgers: After weeks of upsets, WVU is back in the BCS championship game talk.  The Moutaineers have more talent, and should win.  Much like Kentucky last weekend, I don’t think Rutgers can put up a supreme effort two weeks in a row, and a supreme effort is what it will take to defeat the Mountaineers. Rutgers’ best advantages are that they are at home, and the Mountaineer pass defense is not good. The WVU D will wisely be keyed on Ray Rice. If Teel can manage to get some long accurate passes off, this might be a better game than I think it will be.  I’ll go with the Mountaineers in a close one. (I wonder where Coach Rodriguez will go next year? There should be some very nice jobs opening up.) 

Nebraska at Texas: There was a time where this would have been a marquee game. Now it’s the Bill Callahan countdown (yet another job that will be open in 2008) against a Texas team that finally got that case of the Mack Brown I was talking about.  The road to the Alamo Sunshine Bowl, sponsored by Poulan Weedeaters, goes through Austin! Nebraska not only has less talent than Texas; the boys on that team have flat out quit on Callahan. Texas, in a big, huge way.  (PS…Bo…hold out for a better job. Why do you want to freeze your a&& off on the Great Plains?)

Kansas at Texas A&M: somewhere, a schedule of creampuffs, cupcakes and girls’ schools has got to catch up with Kansas. I believe that this is the week, since Dennis Franchione will be looking to spice up the resume for potential new employers.

Cal at Arizona State: Wow. From national championship contender to….Holiday Bowl, if they’re lucky. ASU is highly ranked because everyone else lost. I really have nothing to say about this game. Whomever is coaching ASU will not be there next year. There are better jobs in the Pac 1.5 and nationwide. Because I don’t care, and that’s the way the season goes, I’ll go Cal. Let’s continue to screw everything to hell!

USC at Oregon: Autzen Stadium will be absolutely rocking. Will USC be blinded by the ugliest uniforms ever in any sport?  Will the USC of old, swaggering and proud, show up, or the one that forgot Stanford was a Division 1-A football team appear? USC has played distinctly lackluster football in the past few weeks. The Trojans barely beat Washington and an awful Arizona team, and of course, there was the Stanford debacle. I think that the USC people think USC is supposed to be will show up in Oregon tomorrow. I go with the Trojans. It should be epic, or as epic as Pac 1.5 football gets.

Ohio State at Penn State: Penn State is not good. They really aren’t. If the Sweatervests don’t step up and beat down Penn State, they are a fraud.  I know about the white-out, and the alleged intimidation factor of playing at Penn State, but seriously, this should really not be a close game if Ohio State is really championship caliber.  I advise SEC fans (and even those from the Pac 1.5  and Big 12 South) to not watch this game, as they may become ridiculously bored and frustrated at the slow speed of play.

UCLA at Washington State: I just bring up this game because I bet UCLA will blow it.

South Florida at UConn: Another huge game for UConn. South Florida should really win this game. We’ll see if USF can get themselves back together. I think they can. The Bulls in a close one.

Minnesota at Michigan: looks like the Little Brown Jug will be staying in Ann Arbor.

A brief review of last night’s Virginia Tech game, as I channel my favorite Tech fan, Heather. Heather, to let ya’ll know, spent last Saturday night holding me as I watched the LSU-Auburn game in an inebriated panic. This is not meant to mock her, or any of the Hokie Nation. Believe me, the MLBGG knows your pain: 

Minutes 1-57: this is fantastic! This is great! Let’s check on tickets to Jacksonville, baby.  Minute 58: Ok, we’ve got the ball back. We’ ve just got another two minutes OH SWEET JESUS MOTHERF*CKER WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED HOW DID THEY GET THE G*DD*MNED BALL BACK CANT GLENNON HOLD ON WHERE IS TYROD?. Minutes 58:30 to 59:55: SOMEONE STOP HIM FROM RUNNING! HOW IS MATT RYAN GETTING AWAY FROM OUR DEFENSE WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING SOMEONE TACKLE SOMEONE FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! Minute 59:55-60:00: That sucked balls. And not in a good way.

(Portions of that commentary were edited for family consumption, filtered with my voice, and modified so I don’t get my a&& kicked.)

Now for the good stuff:

Miami at Vanderbilt: Vandy is the kind of team that will go balls to the wall at Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida, and then stink up the joint at home against a MAC team. So don’t be surprised when it happens tomorrow.

MSU at Kentucky: the only question I have is if Kentucky can get to 45. I think they can. Andre’ (must get the apostrophe) Woodson, I doubt ye no more. Wildcat fans, enjoy this season, because your program graduates this year, and your coach is not long for Lexington.

Ole Miss at Auburn: Here’s another SEC West game with two job openings for next year (seriously, the entire division is going to have new coaches next year, except for the Crimson Whine.  Coach Balls for Brains is still the leading candidate to take the reins at Michigan if Lloyd Carr decides to resign; Houston Nutt’s days are numbered, since he has Secretariat and Seattle Slew in his backfield, and managed to do exactly nothing of note with them this year; the crazy boosters have finally driven Coach Tuberville to the edge; Mississippi State needs to start over…and Ole Miss…how’d firing Cutcliffe go for you?). Anyhoo, I’d say this is a trap game for Auburn, them being worn out by all that scoring from last week, and rolling up on Glenn Dorsey’s knee, but Ed Orgeron’s a terrible coach, and contractually, Auburn cannot lose to more than one team from Mississippi a year.  Auburn in a close one, because that is how Auburn wins football games.

South Carolina at Tennessee: Both teams were embarassed last week. Only one team, however, has a coach who develops a nervous tick when he sees his visor wearing, squinting opponent across the field.  Steve Spurrier beats Tennessee, then finds yet another way to manage to insult Phil Fulmer. 

Finally, the SEC Game of the Week, sponsored by Home Depot on CBS, is the World’s Largest Cocktail Party. Right now, massive quantities of cocaine, weed, Jack Daniels, Makers Mark, Bombay Sapphire are entering the Jacksonville city limits in preparation for tomorrow afternoon’s tailgate/ fashion show/ meat market/ cookoff ….oh, hold up. There’s a football game, too.  The MLBGG will go with (f*ck) Florida for this one. Timmy’s groupies didn’t have to work on him quite as thoroughly after the UK  game as after the LSU game. The Timmy Show is a bit banged up in his non-throwing shoulder, so don’t expect the 57 carries a game he’s been getting most of the season against Georgia. Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. Really, it’s been all downhill since the 2005 SEC Championship, where they demolished my Tigers. The end result was the game the Angry Eer from Loser with Socks still can’t stop talking about. (An aside about that game: I was there.  I respect what the Mountaineers did at what was basically a home field for Georgia. WVU put up 28 points on the Bulldogs before they had the chance to react, and they ran out of time to catch up.  I will always continue to believe that if Georgia took WVU half as seriously as they did LSU and the rest of the SEC, the Bulldogs would have won that game going away. Unfortunately for Georgia and SEC fans who have to hear about that game being some sort of turning point, they did not. And the failure of those boys not being ready lies squarely at Mark Richt’s feet.)  The Bulldogs are the most schizoprenic team in the SEC.   You never know which team will show up from week to week. I certainly don’t. So I have to lie back, close my eyes, think of Liuzza’s, and pick the d*mned Gators.

That’s all for now. Apparently, the NFL may actually exist.  A word of caution to Boston fans who are in the grip of hubris: you are one broken collarbone from not making the playoffs, a rotator cuff from letting the Rocktoberfest (TM)back in, and a real football conference from a national champion. 

Next week is Hell Week Part Deux. I can feel the overconfidence from the Crimson Whine in my bones.

Also, I’ll tell you why the Big East will never be as good as the SEC. 

And it’s actually pretty fricking simple. Here’s a clue:

“What we’ve got to do is continue to work toward getting more speed and athleticism on the football field, particularly on the defensive side of the ball.”
— Minnesota coach Tim Brewster in the aftermath of his team’s loss to North Dakota State (It’s not your conference, but it’s close enough).

The Time for Mourning is Done

October 18, 2007

It’s time for another weekend of football, so my period of mourning must end. But first, a little post-mortem on the LSU-UK game. Many other sites have done in depth analyses, so I won’t re-do what’s already been done well. 

 My response to the game was to engage in a stream of profanity for well over four hours, which was occasionally punctuated by a high pitched scream. Then at the end of regulation, I turned off my phone. Then I kept screaming. The Kentucky offensive line deserves high praise, as does Andre Woodson. As much as I’d like to blame the coaches, Gary Crowton and Les Miles did not drop a perfectly thrown pass that would have made the game 31-14 in the 4th quarter. Coach Pelini did not blow a 27-14 lead on his own.  LSU had the chance to put the game away late and did not.  The Tigers had the chance to make stops, and didn’t.  But they can’t dwell on that game, as the other Tigers from the middle of nowhere are coming into the unfriendly confines of Tiger Stadium.

I am seeing a repeat of last year’s game, as both teams will be utterly worn out from their supreme efforts of last weekend (unlike some teams from other conferences, that continue to play in-state rivals). Auburn totally shut down the Arkansas offense (Felix Jones and the DMcFE), avenging last year’s loss.  (And I understand that Coach Tuberville took some time to tour the Arkansas weight room and athletic dorm). Last weekend must be put out of the team’s collective psyche (defense, that means YOU). LSU must find a way, through whichever unit, to put up 3 touchdowns.  The Tigers can’t let it come down to Auburn making a field goal, because Wes Bynum has downright elephantine testicles, and liquid nitrogen running through his veins.  If LSU can get to that magic number of 21, Auburn will have a very hard time, because they generally can’t score that many points.  Obviously Auburn shut down The Darren McFadden Experience, but I can’t tell if that is a result of Houston Nutt being an idiot who didn’t get him enough touches, Arkansas having absolutely no passing threat, Houston Nutt being a moron, or Auburn’s defense being that good. It’s likely a combination of all those factors.  Let’s reward the faith the computers and pollsters still have, eh, darlings?: LSU 21 Auburn 13

Now, lets skip back to Thursday, and what really is the Big East Game of the Year, South Florida (2!) at Rutgers.  I’m not going against the Bulls. I know that Rutgers ran all over the Bulls last year, but that was last year.  I’ll just put it like this: if the Bulls weren’t scared at Auburn, and shut down The Greatest Offensive System in the History of College Football (TM), then they aren’t gonna be scared of Thursday night in New Jersey.  I’d make some joke about some Rutgers fan popping a cap in the Bulls’ ass, but that’s just as likely to happen in Tampa.  South Florida continues the dream season.

Mississippi State at WVU: The Moutaineers have had a couple of weeks to get ready, and MSU just exhausted themselves against the Volunteers (good job not blowing that game, Coach Fulmer).  The Bulldog defense is capable of giving West Virginia fits for most of the game; however, the offense is prehistoric and run by a kid who couldn’t start for a top Texas high school team.  The Moutaineers should win against the Bulldogs, but other superior teams have been Croomed before.  My West Virginia people have been warned.

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh:  Bearcats, as Brian Kelly continues his job interview. Boy, does Pitt suck! If your coach tears his achilles three days before your game, the football goddesses are not on your side.

Texas at Baylor: Texas. I got nothing else. I just mention the Longhorns because one of my friends is a fan. Did you know Mike Singletary went to Baylor? I think that was the high point of that program’s existence.

Oklahoma at Iowa State: To top Texas, Oklahoma will feel compelled to hang 70 on the Cyclones. And they will succeed.

Vanderbilt (we can read!) at South Carolina: I think Coach Superior will use the Commodores to experiment on. If the ‘Cocks had the offense, Coach Superior would run up the score.  Poor things. Vandy always does put up a good fight, but they usually fail. 

Tennessee at Alabama: A measure of how far this game has fallen this season: instead of being the SEC Game of the Week on CBS, sponsored by Home Depot, or an ESPN prime time game, The Third Saturday in October is now the 12:30 game on the network formerly known as Jefferson Pilot. (I don’t know what it’s called now). Let’s see.  I really want Tennesse to stomp on Alabama and smack them around like the crimson clad bitches they are. The game is at Alabama. Alabama does not have the talent that Tennessee has.  Fulmer has not managed to blow a game in a couple of weeks.  Therefore, Alabama and their traitorous bastard of a asshat coach will win. 

USC at The Pyrite Dome: Perhaps this week, USC will remember how to put up 70 points again, and realize that their fourth string could start at the Pyrite Dome. Come on, Trojans! America is counting on you.  If the Trojans don’t win by 20, something is seriously wrong.

Michigan State at Ohio State:  Ohio State continues its tough Big Ten Plus One schedule. Michigan State has begun its annual tailspin.  Ohio State.

Florida at Kentucky: The SEC Game of the Week, on CBS.  Boy, the best option for me would be for a sinkhole to open up under Commonwealth Stadium, revealing yet another massive Kentucky cave complex.  That, unfortunately, is unlikely to happen.  The question for Kentucky is if they can duplicate last weekend’s effort. The only thing in their favor is that the game is in Lexington. I don’t know the Wildcats can repeat last weeks heroics against LSU. (f*ck) Florida is coming off a weekend off and two losses, which are likely to make the Gators very, very angry. Back to back comebacks are hard, especially in the SEC.   I’ll do something which makes my skin crawl and my stomach flip: I will pick the rested Gators and the Timmy Show to win at Kentucky.  Enjoy this season before your program graduates and your coach moves on to another job, UK fans. I understand Nebraska will have an opening available soon.  

That being said, if Wildcat fans rush the field again if Kentucky beats the Gators….act like you’ve been there before, people.

There are some other games that I have virtually no interest in:

Texas Tech @ Missouri:  Go with the over.

Cal @UCLA: everything says that Cal should win this game easily. So I’ll pick UCLA.

Kansas at Colorado: Colorado. I still think Kansas is a mirage.

Kansas State at Oklahoma State: Kansas State, just because purple is my favorite color…

Oregon at Washington: …but I’m not crazy. The ugly uniforms win.

Michigan at Illinois: Illini fans, there was a reason Ron Zook got fired. You are about to find out why.  Michigan. (The MLBGG is an unabashed Wolverine supporter for the remainder of the 2007 season, as she yearns to see the team that lost to a 1-AA team win the “Big” Ten Plus One. I’m sending some positive thoughts to Mike Hart’s ankle.)

There’s nothing in the ACC worth discussing. The big ACC game is next week, Boston College (who’s played no one) at Virginia Tech (who was dismantled)(Strange things will be afoot at the home of my favorite Tech fan that night. I guarantee it).  I was thinking that there were no meaningful ACC games on this weekend, and then I realized Florida State and Miami are facing each other. Ten years ago, discussions of that game would have opened Sportcenter. Now it’s just filler bewteen the SEC main courses.  Enjoy all the Wake Forest and Virginia you want, ACC boosters, but you better hope that Miami and FSU can get back to what they were sooner than later.

Mike Hart is definitely expected back against Minnesota.

That’s all.

Oh, for one week, the NFL does exist.

Games of Interest to Me

October 12, 2007

So anyhoo, we have what is apparently a “dead” weekend in college football. But we know better. There is no such thing. Just when it seems that nothing can ever top last weekend, this weekend happens. There’s a new Instant Classic and the national title picture is blown to hell every weekend. And that is why we watch. That and the chance to start drinking at 10, when College Gameday comes on.  Since I have things to do, a brief overview of games of interest to me. As always, we begin with The Greatest Conference That Is Or Ever Will Be (Celebrating 75 years of Kicking Yo’ Ass), and the Game of the Week, brought to you by the Home Depot:

http://www.ilovewavs.com/TV/Sports/TV%20Theme%20-%20CBS,%20College%20Football.wav

LSU is traveling to the scene of one of the most storied games in Tiger history, where the students had a severe case of premature celebration.

As good as that was, here’s hoping that there’s no need for a Bluegrass Miracle. I don’t think there will be. This has been advertised since the start of the season as a potential trap game for LSU.   But can it really be one, since everyone has discussed it as such? This ain’t the Pac 1.5, where starting quarterbacks in the top half of the league believe that the other team shouldn’t even be on the field.   Every kid in the SEC (and especially at LSU, where it took some last second heroics to beat Ole Miss last year), knows that an “off” day means a loss (hulllo, Auburn!), and anything less than your best means you’re flying home a loser.   Besides, Coach Pelini and Coach Crowton are doing too well on their job interviews to mess it up now.  Kentucky has a subpar running game which should not pose a threat to the Tigers front seven. Although Andre Woodson is a fine quarterback and is doing beautifully under the tutelage of Randy Sanders (hee hee hee), he is immobile, and not the type of quarterback (see: Tim Tebow) that has given LSU trouble this year. He’ll be heaving and heaving the ball into the air, and although Kentucky probably has some of the best receivers in the SEC, the more you throw, the more you get picked off.  This game goes like almost every other LSU game this year: uncomfortably, almost WTF close through halftime, and a nice lil’ pull away due to some defense.

Tennessee at Mississippi State. If Mississippi State wins this game, exactly zero SEC fans will be surprised.

South Carolina at North Carolina: Basketball season starts soon, Tarheels.

Auburn at Arkansas: If Arkansas only had something resembling a passing game and a coach who was sane. The Darren McFadden Experience will have 2 touchdowns, 175 yards (and Felix Jones will score at least one more, and have 100 yards), and Arkansas will still lose. This was one of the big shockers of last season, and put The DMcFE on the map as one of the top players in college football. He still is and will be after this game, but Auburn will win.  After the game, Tommy Tuberville will not take the team plane back to Auburn, but will discuss the details of his new contract with the Arkansas boosters, and try to convince Jones and McFadden to stay another year.

Boston College at Notre Dame: Go Eagles!! I know that Pyrite Dome boosters think that last week was the start of the a new era for The Greatest Coach Who Ever Has Blessed College Football with His Presence(s), and the Greatest Quarterback College Football Has Ever Seen, but what that was Karl Dorrell sucking.  There are few things that motivate Boston College like playing at Notre Dame. And BC (boy, this sucks to admit) is much better than it used to be. Boston College, big.

Arizona at USC.  Poor, poor, poor Wildcats. They drew a bad hand, getting the golden children the week after they forgot that Stanford actually is a Division I-A team.  If USC scores less than 50 (by the half), I’ll be surprised. (PS…things haven’t gone well since Arizona stomped on the Eye of the Tiger. Coincidence? I think not. PPS…looks like the Indian burial ground curse afflicting the Team of Which I Do Not Speak is about to hit the Men of Troy. Hope that Saint Reggie only took that money in 2005. I wonder if the NCAA makes schools give back the hardware?)

Oregon State at Cal:  If it was at Oregon State, I might give them a chance. As it is DeSean Jackson will probably be the Heisman front runner after this game. Damned hippies.   A more interesting thing than the game itself will be finding references to Beavers chopping down the smelly sacred grove where the hippies are protecting the tree nymphs from the athletic department.

Just for laughs: Louisville at Cincinnati. Hee hee hee. Just for the heck of it, Louisville.  Brian Brohm does not suck. The poor child’s Heisman was stolen from him by his defense.

Wisconsin at Penn State: Joe Pa gets sideline rage, attacks Wisconsin coach via cart. Whiteout, tradition, yada, yada, yada. Really, who cares? Ohio State will win the Big Ten Plus One anyway.

Virginia Tech at Duke.  Virginia Tech. That’s really all I’ve got.

Texas at Iowa State: Hope the Longhorns got a shot to cure that case of the Mack Brown they came down with a couple of weeks ago.  An 0-3 conference start means a trip to the Lawnmower Seasonal Diamond Friendliness Bowl, brought to you by Capitol One.

The Battle of Florida, 2007 Edition: Central Florida at South Florida.  I’ll go with South Florida, just because I would love to see them as the Big East BCS rep. But this is certainly a dangerous game for the Bulls. UCF wasn’t scared of Texas, so I don’t see USF having any intimidation factor at all.

And finally, as I promised, the Big Ten Plus One Pillow Fight for All Time…or at least I thought it was before Northwestern sent Michigan State on the first step of the annual tailspin. This is actually gonna be a fun game to watch, if by fun, you mean no defense and resembling the 1960s AFL.  Northwestern lost to Duke, Duke, at home.  Minnesota is just abominable. This game comes down to the interceptions that Minnesota’s QB will heave into the air. 1000 yards of offense, 4 Minnesota interceptions, 2 Northwestern turnovers,  and a 45-38 score. Boy, firing Glen Mason sure was a great decision!

That is all for now. Love, MLBGG.

Watch this space, as we prepare for Big East-SEC showdown number 2: Mississippi State at West Virginia.

PS… F*ck Florida

PPS….Alabama and their traitorous f*cking coach sucks.

I knew I had missed something.

The SEC: where even the white kids are fast

October 8, 2007

 BATON ROUGE, LA - OCTOBER 06:  Running back Jacob Hester #18 of the LSU Tigers scores the game-winning touchdown in the fourth quarter against the Florida Gators at Tiger Stadium on October , 2007 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. LSU defeated Florida 28-24.  (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

Welcome to The Mean Lil’ Black and Gold Girl’s most non -PC post yet, courtesy of the Nation of Islam Sports Blog. Everyone saw the (admittedly impressive) performance of Tim Tebow. He was running, gunning, running and running some more, with the occasional pass. And he’s white with a barely qualifying SAT score.  The times, they have a changed!

But this blog does not celebrate the achievements of (f*ck) Florida Gators, except when they come against overrated teams from other conferences which blow. Today, I am here to pay tribute to a Tiger whom has entered legendary status with a undeniably gutsy performance, a young man who is probably sorer than some of my hasher friends (TOM), who has earned a lifetime of free massages and bowls of gumbo, and who is the rarest of commodities these days:  the white running back who is actually a signifcant part of the offense. Coach Les called the plays, but the boys had to make them. And there was no better one play made in Baton Rouge Saturday night than by the one and only Jacob Hester.

From the Nation of Islam Sports Blog:

Jacob Hester: Ode to the White Running Back

In days of yore, you ran free in packs
All over the field, white running backs.

Fast Negro runners with amazing grace,
Slowly began to take your place.

Once there was Riggins and his mohawk,
Now you line up and mostly block.

Slow of foot and without much style,
We watch you try and it makes us smile.

You lower your shoulders and get three yards,
Moving less like backs, more like guards.

They talk of your motor and how hard you compete,
And try not to mention your clumsy feet.

But like the infrequent moon that’s blue,
There are the times you still come through.

At the end of the game; it couldn’t come later,
You drove through the line to defeat the Gator.

Jacob Hester, we will cut you some slack
You aren’t too bad for a white running back.

An aside from football

October 1, 2007

So this weekend the MLBGG informed me that I need to contribute more to her blog.  I was told I could say basically anything, no matter how mundane such discussion is.  She may want to rethink that, because this post isn’t about football.  This post is straight out of my juvenile mind.  ( I am not surprised. Tennessee did have a bye week, so I am expecting something actually Vol related next week. Of course “pussy” and “Vol” may actually be synonyms this season.  MLBGG.)

 You know they say that you learn something every day.  Well, I surely learned something new today. 

Let me introduce everyone to the Pussy Willow. The Pussy Willow

 Oh that’s awesome.

The Road to the Orange Bowl goes through Raymond James: Friday Night Liveblog

September 29, 2007

Yo. Since I went out last night, I am staying in this evening, and watching the WVU-USF game at home.  I’ve got everything I need: wine, cheese and wine and cheese.  I am ready.  I am in contact with the Queen Bee, West Virginia resident, hostess with the mostest, mother of Jack “My baseball” Bailey and Vanderbilt alumnus. I expect texts from the Insouciant Truth.

7:37 pm: the senile dude is talking, so he may be saying that makes sense, but I seriously doubt it. Now Mark May is talking. He is picking WVU, basically saying that the Mountaineers have too many weapons.

7:38: I just changed to “Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team 2.” Coverage of the first quarter will be somewhat limited, because this is the first episode of the girls at training camp. I’m hooked on this show. One of the rookie candidates this year is deaf.  She made the evil dance instructor cry when she did her solo dance.

8:15: the heaviest girl at the DCC training camp weighs 138 pounds.  Yeesh.

WVU was stopped on the first drive. There is obviously a lot of excitement in Tampa. The best way for the Moutaineers to take out that excitement is to score two touchdowns in rather rapid fashion. The longer the crowd is in it, the longer the Bulls will be.

First turnover of the game by South Florida. WVU recovers. The Mountaineers get nothing despite the short field. Coach Rod looks like he’s aboout to stroke out.  The Bulls have the ball back, and are driving.

That may have been the worst pass I have ever seen. That includes the QB from Mississippi State.  USF 7, WVU 0.  As of this time, I don’t want to hear anything about low scores in the SEC being a result of bad offense, and how SEC offense is downright boring compared to the scillintilating Big East.  This season’s premier Big East teams have combined for five turnovers in one quarter.

Can we say “blown coverage” and “poor tackling”? USF 14, WVU 0.  I read that Coach Rod’s philosophy was to keep his best athletes on offense. That’s perfectly clear from that last touchdown.  (Of course, at LSU, the kicker can score a 15 yard touchdown, and the defensive tackles run the 4X100 in high school. Matt Flynn is probably the worst athlete of the 22 starters. If (f*ck) Florida does the unthinkable, and ends up facing WVU in some BCS bowl, assuming the Mountaineers win tonight, Tim Tebow would have 250 yards rushing.)

Oops. That drive didn’t end well for WVU. FOUR turnovers? In one quarter? WVU’s on pace to beat Mississippi State’s numbers against LSU.  Well, that drive didn’t end well for USF. FOUR turnovers? Boy, this is some quality Big East offense. I feel privileged to be watching. This is an ESPN instant classic, for sure. EIGHT turnovers with six minutes to go in the first half.  No texts from The Truth yet.

But still, I can hear the sounds of jets firing up in Knoxville and Auburn, heading for Tampa.

Uh oh. Pat White is limping. My Mountaineer boosters had best hope they can inject that with something and tape it up.

I don’t know what kind of snap that was.  So much for the touchdown chance. I would love to be in the that locker room at halftime. Coach Rod seriously does look like he will stroke out.

I just heard a commercial praising the “four Heisman candidates from the Big East.” Um, no. The Big East lost one when Louisville lost to Syracuse, following the loss to perennial SEC football doormat Kentucky.  And if some things don’t happen very differently in the second half, the Big East will be down to one. And his team still hasn’t played a game against a real opponent.  Ya’ll KNOW how much I HATE to say this, but (f*ck) Fliorida has the front runner for the Heisman right now, and if (f*ck) Florida wins next weekend (please, L*rd, Shiva and the Furies, you owe us), I’d hand the hardware to Tebow on the Eye of the Tiger.  And the Heisman trophy “the most revered of all trophies,” which it is? Please.  Much like when Milli Vanilli won a Grammy for best new artist, the Heisman hurt its credibility when Gino Toretta was declared the best football player in the nation that year.  And Jason White (2003 award winner, who had his bell rung in the only national championship game that was played that year, Trojan fans)? Puh-leeeze.  Speaking of greatest players, I checked a list of greatest college players by team on Rivals.com. Texas’s final two were Vince Young and Earl Campbell. It is a testament to the power of Earl Campbell’s legacy that he didn’t lose to Vince Young by that much, despite the fact he was in a Texas uniform thirty years ago.  Just a little side note. I was always an Earl Campbell fan. Thought I’d talk about it.

But seriously, I’d like for WVU to still be a top 5 team when I arrive in Morgantown on October 20th. No texts from The Truth as of yet.

John Taylor for Arlington County President! Heck, John Taylor for PRESIDENT. Mr. Taylor’s team has a big game next weekend, as does mine.  It will be fun to watch at least some of it with him in a red dress. ( Most of you have no idea what that means, but it amuses me immensely.  The soon-to-be Mrs. Taylor would be a proud member of the RWA (Red Wine Association). My West Virginia people would love her, except for her slight Virginia Tech obsession. She’s a fab lady.)

Um, that was probably not the way to start off the second half.  But again, South Florida has played a big-time team in a big time atmosphere.

Apparently, Pat White is not coming back out. 21-6, USF.

Go AUBURN! (If not a victory, at least a high ankle sprain for Tebow.) More on the Florida offense (Tebow). He has an 890 SAT. He is a running quarterback. His first instinct is to pull the ball down and run. He had 20-something carries last week and ran for two touchdowns against Ole Miss.   Last year, he played when (f*ck) Florida needed a a mobile threat under center.  And he’s white.  Hallelujah!  Things done changed!

WVU has 12 minutes to keep from going to the Gator Bowl, and the Big East has 12 minutes left of three Heisman candidates.

The Big East is down to one Heisman candidate.  Final score 21-13, University of South Florida.

I am not picking against South Florida for the rest of the season. The new Big East Game of the Year is South Florida-Cincinnati.

I just heard the Volunteer Booster Gulfstream passing over my apartment. That Jim Leavitt is some kind of coach. From nothing to a BCS conference contender in eleven years…imagine what he could do with say a team with decades of tradition, and a stadium seating over 100,000 (or 92, 000, if Michigan does not win the Big Ten and Coach Miles heads to up Ann Arbor.)

From The Insouciant Truth: “USF is the best call in the handgun state and the Big East.”

(You know I love ya’ll. I’ll get the new Insouciant Princess some WVU related gear.)

I’m out.  XOXO, MLBGG

West Virginia doesn’t suck, but my Saturday does

September 22, 2007

We’ve got another short version this week, folks. Let me start by saying this. West Virginia is a lovely place to visit, with lovely people, by and large.  Some of my people were thrown into turmoil by a blog post by an obnoxious type that all Washingtonians would recognize: those who don’t leave the 202 (the District’s area code for the two of you who may not know that) except to travel to National Airport, and act as if they are Lewis and Clark when they do. I won’t repeat the commentary, but suffice it to say that it was rude, and if the same things had been written about a visit to a predominantly black city, the person would have been dropped as a contributor to whatever it is he does. 

I love my West Virginia people. I like my visits there,  the people I work with are dedicated and have been good to me, by and large. My friends there are beyond wonderful.  I love going to football games and tailgating in Morgantown (although it does not reach the art form that southern tailgating is), and I love the people watching in the Charleston Town Center Mall.  I have been to some parties there that any hasher would be thrilled to attend (and from which periods of time seemed to have melted away). People were broken, cases of wine were consumed, I drank green punch and ended up in a gay bar (several times.)

Finally, I find their delusions about the Mountaineers and Big East adorable.

 I hope to do another stream of consciousness next weekend, when my weekend will consist of going to buy a red dress and some high school reunion clothes with Rocky T*ts, a garter belt and thigh highs for myself (it’s a hashing thing) and taking down the braids. Tomorrow, I am strolling through Quantico for about 13 miles, and hoping no Marines come to chase me down and carry me to the straggler bus. Then I have brunch, and need to get my nails done and figure out to wear for an evening wedding in lovely Pasadena, Maryland. And I still have to decide whether I want to get a hotel room out there, so that I may have more than one glass of wine.

So I’ve got a ridiculous day coming up, and there’s one thing that truly annoys me: I’m missing football, including the SEC Game of the Week, sponsored by the Home Depot, on CBS at 3:30:

http://www.ilovewavs.com/TV/Sports/TV%20Theme%20-%20CBS,%20College%20Football.wav

( I hear that, and I know it’s time for a real football game.) 

(Ok, I just noticed something incredibly funny. When I checked the link for the SEC Game of the Week theme, the related searches were “The Game,” “Jeff Gordon,” “Tony Stewart” “Georgia Tech” and “gay porn.” What that means, I don’t know.)

Being the SEC Game of the Week (and that should be capitalized) means LSU has to play in the day at Tiger Stadium. It’s just not right, I tell ya. LSU- (f*ck) Florida better be prime time.  I am worried about this game, because Steve Spurrier is a great college coach, and has proven able to adapt with the little talent he has.  Early Doucet is out, and Matt Flynn is not 100 percent.  The South Carolina defense definitely does not suck.  The ‘Cocks have two decent running backs. There are no easy conference games in the SEC. 

On the other hand, Blake Mitchell threw three interceptions against South Carolina State.  Les Miles did not coach in the SEC in the 1990s, so he doesn’t have that nervous tick that some coaches get (see: Fulmer, Phil) when Ole’ Ball Coach Superior appears on the sideline. Coach Superior is not his usual cocky self, realizing that LSU does have an edge in talent over his ‘Cocks. Frankly, now that Coach Superior is not with (f*ck) Florida, I am getting all nostalgic for the old days.  I am looking forward to the Tennessee- South Carolina game. I expect the Superior Attitude to come back with a vengeance that week, for the last time Fulmer faces Superior as the coach of the Tennessee Volunteers.

Because the game is not at night, Early Doucet is out, Matt Flynn is not healthy, and I have a healthy respect for what Coach Superior can get out of his players (remember, (f*ck) Florida won last year on a blocked field goal), I am not predicting a blowout. I don’t think that Blake Mitchell will be allowed to throw more than 10 passes, so that’s a few less touchdowns off interceptions.  Glenn Dorsey will fall down on him at some point, and Blake will go boom. LSU 30, South Carolina 12.

(f*ck) Florida at Ole Miss. There’s really no reason to discuss this game, other than the chance the Gators will score 70. Also, the Grove is beautiful, 18 MPH speed limit, beautiful co-eds, fired David Cutcliffe, don’t you feel dumb now, yada, yada, yada.  Gators many, Ole Miss 9.

The most fun game of the day, and by fun, I mean limited to no defense, should be Kentucky at Arkansas. I am seeing 1000 yards of offense (with the DMcFE responsible for 300 of them by himself), a ridiculous score, and just lots of good ole fashion fun. This is a key game for Arkansas. If they can bounce back after last week’s loss against ThatTraitorous Bastard, they should still have a good season. If not, we could be looking at the SEC’s Michigan State/ Clemson.  I’ll go with Arkansas because they’re hosting, and because I think Darren McFadden is one of the best college football players I will ever get to see.

Georgia at Alabama: We are all Bulldog fans now.  Georgia 17, Alabama 13

Auburn, Tennessee and Mississippi State all play three random teams. One of them will lose to the random team, probably MSU, thanks to Mr. Pick Six throwing three or four interceptions.

The Mountaineers play East Carolina. I expect some extrapolation on how WVU ran for 500 yards on East Carolina, which held Virginia Tech in check, and therefore, LSU is overrated, and WVU can run on the Tigers. Ok.  WVU 42, ECU 20

South Florida over North Carolina; Louisville, rather massively, over Syracuse (what the heck happened to that program?); Cincy over Marshall.

I hope Michigan wins and throws the Big Ten into total turmoil. I don’t know why Penn State is getting so much more credit than Michigan, given that both team’s best wins have come against the Pyrite Dome and Knute Rockne reincarnate. I’m going against all the experts, and picking Michigan to win this game, at Happy Valley.  Start humming “The Victors” to yourself, Michigan, and maybe ya’ll will believe it again.

If Michigan State loses to Notre Dame, or if the game is even remotely close, I will start to believe that East Lansing is built on the graves of Chief Pontiac’s family and medicine man.

Ohio State really has no reason to not score 42, and to not keep Northwestern from scoring at all. Northwestern lost to Duke at home, which frankly is far more embarassing than losing to the two-time defending 1-AA champions.  But it will be the typical OSU game: uncomfortably close for much longer than it needs to be.

Indiana (about 4 games away from being America’s inspirational story and the College Game Day story that makes me cry; the coach died of a brain tumor last year) plays Illinois. Illinois is awful; Ron Zook may be the one of the worst coaches of all time.

Wisconsin plays Iowa. Both states are flat and cold, just like your mom! (Sorry. I was going back and forth with some of my West Virginia people that afternoon, so a mom joke popped into my head.) Anyhoo, Wisconsin should win big (and does have the advanage of cheese, brats and beer. Heck, why is this even a contest! Advantage, Wisconsin!)

In another game that may interest those of you for whom defense is an afterthought,  and if you’re looking for something to put on the TV, Purdue plays at Minnesota. Purdue has a fabulous passing game. Minnesota has a distinctly unfabulous pass defense (has given up 1300 yards and ranks 119th in pass defense), and gave up seven turnovers last week against an F_U school.  I foresee many, many yards in the non-atmosphere of the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. Woe betide you, Golden Gophers. 

There will be no coverage of the ACC (congrats to Miami), Pac-1.5 (except to mention that the Huskies have a very winnable game this week against UCLA, and it sure would make people happy to have them win with the Pyrite Dome going down in flames yet again) or Big 12 this week.

Finally, Buffalo Bills player Kevin Everett is back home in Houston.  His doctors believe that he will be walking in months, and the NFLPA has asked the Houston Texans to adopt him as a teammate this year. I look forward to watering eyes when he comes onto the field at the Super Bowl in February 2008.

Remember him when you watch your games Saturday, and what 20 year olds risk to make our hearts sing on Saturday afternoon.

The Magic Show

September 14, 2007

I’ve got tons to do and am feeling a bit lazy, so I won’t be doing a complete rundown of the Top 25 this week. We’ll just focus on a few big games, and ones of interest to me and my people.

First of all, let me say that WVU looked very good last night against the number 7th ranked (snicker) ranked defense in the NCAA.  Knowing the set of stairs those boys probably run during the season,  I can’t imagine that there is  better conditioned set of football players in college football(just as good, but not better). Maryland didn’t get blown out this year; they just got worn out.  The game (when I got home it was 21-7) was just close enough for a while to keep the hopes of the Terps fans up before they vanished in the cloud of dust Noel Devine created.  That game was the Mountaineers toughest out of conference contest,  and they came through well. They looked to be more up for that game than against Marshall.  They shouldn’t slip after this weeks poll.

And lets hear it for the smart, undersized and brave: Air Force (you remember them from last year, Rocky T*ts?) beat TCU (so much for that mid-major BCS bid) to start 3-0. I look forward to the Falcons beating Notre Dame.

Now, onto the magic show. That, my friends, is what I believe USC will be pulling this weekend against Nebraska. Watch the hopes of Nebraska becoming a player on the national stage vanish under an onslaught of points!  Watch Nebraska alumni magically get a stunned look on their face as they wonder why Bill Callahan got a contract extension! Watch the game become utterly boring by halftime! It’s not that I respect USC that much ( I am not a loudmouth like the future coach of Michigan, but I’ve made my feelings on the Pac-10 clear: not as hard as the SEC), but I think that Pete Carroll and the Trojans will feel the need to make a statement to the pollsters, LSU and Oklahoma after losing a significant number of first place votes after a bye week.  The unfortunate victim of that statement will be the Nebraska Cornhuskers, who would have probably lost against Wake Forest if Riley Skinner had not been broken.  I’m looking at USC to score 50.

Random point- it is not permissible for forty year old men to have temper tantrums unless they are managers taking on umpires, or football coaches losing it on a ref.  Other than that,  not good. It is also not permissible for a man to send his girlfriend to fight his battles, especially when the person she’s fighting the battle against is close to three times her size (and she doesn’t know of what she speaks). Those are unmanly acts.

 Tennessee at Florida: Fulmer’s on the clock. The games at the Swamp. Tennessee played a decent game against Southern Miss, but I am going to assume for purposes of this discussion that there is no one on Southern Miss as fast as the players on Florida. Tennessee simply did not have an answer for Cal’s speed. I would like for that to have changed in two weeks, but I don’t see that happening.  And did I mention the game’s at the Swamp?  I foresee ugliness. I have no idea of the score.

Arkansas at Alabama: the first real test of the (redacted) Era for the Crimson Tide. Has one season of that traitorous bastard coaching been enough to stop the Darren McFadden Experience?  Last season, McFadden was simply unstoppable. He had over 100 yards against both (f*ck) Florida and LSU (and I’m pretty sure it was closer to 200 in both cases, as he was the offense); LSU and that team from Gainesville were just better teams than Arkansas. Can the Alabama defense shut down both the DMcFE and Felix Jones, forcing whatever sucker is playing at quarterback to attempt a throw? Methinks not.  Arkansas in a close one, 17-13.

Louisville at Kentucky: 1500 yards total offense, 73-70 in 3 overtimes.  Heck, I could care less who wins this, although it should be a blast to watch. I’ll just be a homer and go with the Wildcats.

Boston College at Georgia Tech: the battle for (hee hee) ACC supremacy!! Boston College has looked pretty good these two weeks; Georgia Tech beating the Greatest Team in the History Of All Sports doesn’t say much at this point. I’ll go with Boston College.

Notre Dame at Michigan. Please Wolverines. I beg of you, grow a pair, and don’t let the Jimmy Clausen hype machine get restarted.  Is it wrong to watch a game simply to see how awful it will be? There’s too much good football at 3:30 to waste 3 1/2 hours on this garbage. Poor NBC.

The Ohio State University at Washington: GO HUSKIES!  They probably won’t win, but I can dream about an 0-3 Charlie Weis and a 3-0 Ty Willingham, can’t I? Should be good through the first 3 quarters.

The Daddy Brought Me this BMW Cup: Ole Miss at Vandy. Ole Miss is just awful, although the Rebels have one kid who will be drafted in the first or second round next year, tackle Michael Oher. Read his story in “The Blind Side,” by Michael Lewis.  This is winnable for both teams. I’ll go Vandy.

That’s today’s abridged version. Many teams have rest weeks, including the Tigers against Middle Tennessee State.

Please, Golden Gophers, don’t lose to an F_U team, lest I have to go smacking. Big, big smacking.

XOXO, the Lil’ One.