Archive for the ‘That’s got to smart’ Category

So let it be done

December 18, 2007

So you think this is the quiet time, the weekend before the 73 bowl games in 21 days start.  The only noise is the sound and the fury from Detroit’s empty blighted urban canyons, echoing off the desolate shores of Lake Michigan, the sounds of Detroit Free Press reporters and bloggers still claiming that your favorite big-headed blue eyed nutjob of a coach is still heading to north to his beer-soaked mistress and her Big House.

And then all hell breaks loose when the coach of the team that you make mighty fun of, but whose game you still love attending, has had a secret meeting in Toledo, Ohio.  And then the next  you know, the echoes from the frozen north take on a different tone, because they are now tinged with arrogant triumph instead of the embarassed near desperation of the week before:

 From the overjoyed Wolverine (world’s largest weasels!) Nation at mgoblog.

Meanwhile, something like a statewide psychosis has broken out in the home of the BCS Division (formerly Division 1-A) Mountaineers.  Now would be the time I would mock, poke fun, and generally giggle about West Virginia’s coach abandoning them for the richer, greener and more frozen pa$ture$ of the Big House and the Big Ten Plus One, but I think I’ll refrain, just in case some random Mountaineers find what I’m saying and bombard me with personal attacks.  But in all honesty, I feel awful for them.  The fact that Rich Roddriguez was from West Virginia was a tremendous source of pride to them, whether they would admit now or not.  Let’s face it: “genius” and “West Virginia” are not two  terms that often go together (and I know all about the long list of famous West Virginians people, including Homer Hickam and John Nash, who are geniuses, so calm down), but Coach Rod really is, football wise. (If you don’t believe me, I would direct you to the  1998 Tulane Football team, which finished the season at 12-0.  The kids on that team all had to know how to read to get in. I even had football players in some of my classes.)  

Coach Rod made WVU football relevant again, not just on the outskirts of Big Ten Plus One country, but nationwide.  He maximized the talent he had and got the state and university positive press. Mountaineer fans thought they had a man for the long haul after he turned down Alabama last year.  I’m sure that last year, heck,  I’m sure that on November 23, 2007 at about 7 p.m., the sky seemed like the limit for West Virginia University.  (Ask Virginia Tech what a consistently good football team can do for your school. Might want to ask them where they found Frank Beamer, as he seems like a rare breed these days).

But BCS Mountaineer fans ended the season on a spectacularly bad note, losing to a team that has been breathtakingly awful this year.  One favorite son, (REDACTED) (met his cousin the other evening) is coaching in the conference that Big East fans believe to be their nemesis.  Now they have discovered that they did not in fact have a loyal son who would never leave.  They had a mercenary who was waiting for the right job to come open ( BTW, I think he may have just as soon as bolted for LSU if Coach Miles had left. It’s nothing personal. It was just business.) Coach Rodriguez, genius and pioneer of the spread told the nation’s number one recruit, his team, and last and least, his bosses at WVU he was leaving.  In that order.  He screwed the university over royally.

Welcome to the big time, West Virginia.

Now go and make some other school feel the same agony. 

 As an LSU fan, I have to admit that I’m happy. The distractions that ESPN and media outlets from the frozen north were creating were starting to cause concern; our boys have enough to do healing, working on not getting 150 yards in penalties, and dealing with the departure of one assistant coach. The constant questioning on if/ when Coach Le$ was heading to Michigan could not have helped in game prep.

But that’s over now.  To quote a little Cecil B. DeMille:

So let it be written, so let it be done.

Advertisements

The SEC’s Newest Trophy!

December 13, 2007

On September 20, 2008, another great trophy will be added to the annals of college football, celebrating a brand new tradition unlike any other. 

In the Big Ten, there’s Paul Bunyan’s Axe. Floyd of Rosedale. The Old Oaken Bucket. The Pac-10 has the Apple Cup.   There are games which are known merely by their titles: The Third Saturday in October. The Civil War. The Game Formerly Known as the “World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party.” 

And, depending on which school you went to, there are several permutations of “The Game.”

The SEC (Kickin’ Yo’ Ass for 75 Years) is naturally full of such games. By and large, there hasn’t been a huge emphasis on the trophies for the bitterest rivalries in our conference.  To add a little luster to a relatively new rivaly, LSU and Arkansas play for the Boot, 170 pounds of shiny brass in the shape of Hillbilly Central and Coon-Ass Land. 

The boot (lsu-arkansas).jpg

But there’s a new trophy that will outshine everything we’ve ever  seen in college football. Commissioned by Wayne Huzienga and Arthur Blank, with a special donation from the D’Angelo Hall Foundation, it is a masterwork created by the masters of the material, Tiffany, with the natural touches of Paloma Picasso and a classic elegance that says everything without saying a word. 

Ladies, gentlemen, Big East fans, I reveal to you the Pat Forde-Larry Brown Memorial Trophy, awarded to the winner of the 2008 Alabama-Arkansas contest. *

 http://www.flickr.com/photos/syridian/399252640/

*This of course, assumes that both coaches will actually still be at Arkansas or Alabama by September of 2008. We reserve the right to melt down the trophy for a charm bracelet at any time.

Greetings and Salutations

November 20, 2007

Greetings and Salutations from still beautiful and still here New Orleans, Louisiana.  I flew in from 40 degree Arlington, and landed in 78 degree, no humidity (which only happens occasionally) sunshine. Fantastic! I started my three days  in New Orleans  with a trip to Mandina’s, a restaurant I highly recommend.  I had a seafood platter which was both lunch and dinner, which is impressive if you knew how much I can eat. An absolutely wonderful start to my trip, and to this holiday season.

 The Mean Lil’ Black and Gold Girl welcomes Princess Truth to the world. In twenty years, I expect to hear a defense of why West Virginia represents the pinnacle of not only college football, but of all amateur athletics since the turn of the 20th century.  Her birth prevented her mother, but not her dad, from watching yet another exciting weekend of college football.  I am glad she’s here.

Due to traveling and the holiday rush (which began around Veterans’ Day for me), I’ve been and will likely continue to post somewhat erratically for the next few weeks.  I am excited for this upcoming weekend,  as we have Hate Week, Part Deux to finish the regular season, and then three conference championships, two of which I normally don’t care about.  There were some great games this past weekend (I know about a dozen people who became huge Red Raider fans Saturday night),  but the biggest event in college football happened today. Lloyd Carr, to no one’s surprise, resigned from Michigan today, thereby throwing the remainder of LSU’s season into relative turmoil. A few words about Lloyd Carr. He was a lifer. He loved, and loves that school. By all accounts, he is a genuinely good man.  He fell victim to what John Cooper(Ohio State’s coach before the Sweatervest arrived) did: over the past few years, Coach Carr could not beat his biggest rival.  So out the door he goes, to be an assistant AD emeritus.  (Oh, he also fell victim to the 1950s style football that the Big Ten Plus One is still playing. But this is a tribute of a sort.)  In any event, all may not be smooth sailing for Coach Les’ departure to the semi-frozen tundra.   3rd Saturday in Blogtober offers some good analysis of their enemy’s coaching situation.  I don’t think we’re talking about a Dean Smith-Matt Doherty situation here (Doherty managed to piss off every one at UNC after he got there, not beforehand, and Lloyd Carr does not have Dean Smith status…maybe Roy Williams). But it does seem he has enough clout to put the kibosh on what everyone thought was a done deal.

Another thing to consider is that Coach Les’ fortunes can take a considerable upswing if his boys can win three more games.  Big Ten schools don’t pay that kind of money, Coach Sweatervest and the Iowa Genius aside. If Coach Les stays through January 8, that’s certainly entering into his calculations, “Michigan Man,” or not.

Anyway, don’t get your panties in a bunch, Coach Carr. Enjoy the retirement and try to get some sun.  Michigan boosters, remember that we here in Louisiana can put a curse on your team if you mess with Coach Les before the SEC Championship Game (The Original, and Still the Best).  Thank you for your interest, the MLBGG.

If Coach Les does head north for frozen pastures and an easier conference, apparently Tommy Tuberville would be more than happy to move to Baton Rouge. I would not object to that. At all.

A quick note on the LSU- Ole Miss game. First of all, I thought I was hallucinating when I saw a black kid playing quarterback for Ole Miss.  Secondly, LSU does not have a great defense, not at this stage of the year.  LSU has played one perfect game, against Virginia Tech, and played one perfect quarter, against Florida.  The last few weeks of the season have not been awe inspiring.   Great defenses don’t allow the 2007 edition of Ole Miss to hang around. Great defenses don’t allow 466 yards against anyone, let alone this year’s Ole Miss. Coach Les admitted that Brent Schaeffer wasn’t in their gameplan. (But heck, who would have a mobile QB in the gameplan when playing Ole Miss? They haven’t had a mobile quarterback since Archie Manning, and the other thing…well, everyone got thrown for a loop). That lack of preparation by the coaching staff is the kind of thing that we can’t have happen the next three weeks.  Glenn Dorsey hasn’t been the same since the chop block against Auburn, we’re starting a true freshman on the d-line because everyone else is hurt, and our starting middle linebacker is hurt. Ole Miss continued to expose a glaring weakness in the LSU defense that we saw against Kentucky, an ability to defend effectively against four receiver sets.  But you know what? LSU won by 17

But the 17 point victory wasn’t the domination that the media conspiracy was looking for, and pundits are predicting doom and gloom for LSU:

 The Tigers face Arkansas and arguably the nation’s best running back, Darren McFadden, next week. Then they will play either Tennessee or Georgia in the SEC championship game on Dec. 1. All three teams are flawed, but dangerous. And they’re talented and perceptive enough on offense to capitalize on the clues Ole Miss left for them like a trail of bread crumbs. – From Yahoo Sports

As for Arkansas, that game is at LSU. The Darren McFadden Experience will have 200 yards of total offense. I accept that. But the game is at LSU. And LSU’s biggest issue is against the pass. You need a quarterback for a passing game. Casey Dick is a less talented John Parker Wilson.  It will be like nearly every other LSU game this year. Uncomfortably close, but LSU will win it late.  The Championship Game? I’ll just have to see which Tennessee shows up against Kentucky this Saturday. If the Georgia of the last few weeks shows up, that will pose quite a problem for the Tigers.  What the boys need most is to get through the next two weeks, and then have a month to heal. 

I believe in the Tigers. I don’t believe in the delusional- Michigan/ Big-Ten-fan-from-last year-way. If LSU loses, then we lose.  We will go down fighting. We wil not give up, roll over and play dead.  If LSU loses either of the next two games,  then I will watch LSU play another January bowl, and tilt my beer to the two teams that managed to run the gauntlet and impress the media conspiracy.  But I think this team is something special.  The boys win despite a coaching staff that doesn’t get them fully prepared and makes questionable calls (not a good way to enhance the resumes, Coaches).  Glenn Dorsey gave up beaucoup bucks to come back and try to win a national title. He’s been playing hurt for a month. Matt Flynn is smart, saavy, and just athletic enough. Jacob Hester moves mountains.  Early Doucet is a game-breaker.  We have seem to have 100 running backs, who all give everything every down.  Ali Highsmith just smacks people around.  Chevis Jackson and Jonathan Zenon seem to have been starting forever.   Craig Steltz hits about 1/2 as hard as Laron Landry, which means twice as hard as most other college safeties.  Itty-bitty Trindon Holliday is gone once he has a step (as I’ve noted, he weighs less than the Boot).   We’ve got a team of juniors and seniors with two consecutive BCS bowls behind them; a coach who abandoned them for bigger and better things; another coach who is seriously considering doing the same (although Michigan is bigger, I can’t really say it’s better, unless you like snow, bratwurst, and less pretty girls); a team that lost four players to the first round of the NFL draft, and has a new offensive coordinator who likes to pull Mountain West crap.  And, oh, there was the little matter of the weather systems that passed over the central and western Gulf Coasts during their stay at LSU.  I say bring on Mark Richt and his theatrics and his New Jersey running back. Bring on next year’s number 1 draft pick. Bring on schizophrenic Tennessee and letters of support from NFL players. Bring on the Big 12 Team du Jour, West Virginia, or whoever else comes.  Katrina and Rita could not truly defeat us; what chance do mere humans have?  I believe in the Tigers.

Anyhoo, West Virginia seems to be peaking at the right time, if by uncomfortably close margins.   But let’s be clear about the big story in the Big East this year: Connecticut, which played 1-AA football until 2000, and joined the Big East in football in 2004, will finish no worse than second in the conference.   Huskies, say thank you and goodbye to Randy Edsall.  That game is in Morgantown. Too much offense for the Huskies to handle.  Book your tickets to the Sun Bowl. ( UConn at least deserves a trip to someplace not freezing cold. One site had the Huskies going to the International Bowl. Yeesh) . Speaking of bowl projections, as of today, both CBS and College Football News have a LSU-WVU national championship.  I refrain from any comment about that possibility until such time that it actually occurs.   However, I would note that WVU does not have a good history when playing in New Orleans, and I would also warn any Mountaineer fans who are used to mouthing off to Morgantown police and West Virginia state troopers that New Orleans’ finest crack skulls, even of white college kids.  And that’s all I’ll say about that until December 2. Heck, my Tigers still have to get through the train wreck that is Arkansas, and then the SEC Championship (keep trying, and maybe one day you’ll be as good) before we worry about a BCS berth.

A huge salute to Dennis Dixon, Oregon Ducks quarterback, and the kid who might have won the Heisman, had he not torn his ACL on NOVEMBER 3. That’s right; he started the Arizona game with a completely torn ACL, and still played. As a matter of fact, he outran the Arizona defense before coming out the game.  Along with Byron Leftwich being carried by his linemen to continue playing, this has to be one of the dumbest, but guttiest performances of any college football player.   Dennis Dixon, you are SEC-worthy.  Heal up, kid, so you can buy momma, who didn’t raise a wimp, a new house.  From EDSBS, through the Eugene, Oregon Register Guard. For true football idiocy, which lives on through the ages, check out the story of the fabulously named Jack Youngblood. Know why chop blocks are illegal? Snapped fibulas.

My friend from the boonies (meaning Woodbridge) throughly enjoyed last Saturday’s pass-fest, Texas Tech over Oklahoma. Boy, was I ever gloriously mistaken about that game.  Congrats to the Texas Longhorns.

 Finally: per Sports by Brooks, since Arrowhead Stadium is an NFL locale, there will be beer for the Border War.   Let’s see:  people who have been tailgating since Thanksgiving, a rivalry that literally celebrates destruction, murder and terrorism, and a BCS bid to boot?  Woe betide Kansas City! There’s a reason there are so many episodes of Cops filmed there.  I am so watching that game.

Wait, I forgot one thing. There was a terrible loss in college football, one that hurt LSU’s strength of schedule, diminished the achievements of Sylvester Croom, and should make Tennessee feel more embarassed than they already are for almost losing to Vandy.  But on the other hand:

From Roll Bama Roll

From 3rd Saurday in Blogtober

Next: My invitation to Coach Rodriguez (and Coach Tuberville, too); Tim Tebow (ick) for Heisman (I can’t believe my fingers typed that); Hate Week Part Deux, featuring the  Border War, the Hole in the Ground Bowl,  a Longhorn vs. Lassie, and the game it is your duty as an American to watch:  Navy vs Army.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

XOXO, MLBGG

(PS…Ole Miss fans. I’m sorry for my incredulous references to your backup QB, but you’re Ole Miss, for goodness sakes.)

My Favorite Buckeye, Part Deux

October 12, 2007

The players love him! And he eats lunch with his six year old! Oh, Bo, we’ll miss you so much next season, unless Les goes to Michigan, and the wise Skip Bertman keeps you in Red Stick. Your season long job interview is going fabulously.

PS…Thanks to the Nebraska Athletic Department.  In return for Coach Pelini, I offer you some advice for the hiring process for your next coach:

The Pete Carroll thing ( I sucked in the NFL, I rock the NCAA) only strikes so often.

http://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/news;_ylt=AjpTNGKCSk9UZ5dPbOWEP9EcvrYF?slug=jn-pelini101107&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Rocky T*ts weighs in

October 8, 2007

So another epic fall weekend has passed us by.  It seems that every one so far, with this past one being no different, has brought excitement, shake-ups and most definitely disappointments.  I gotta tell ya, the disappointments (as long as they aren’t for the Vols) are definitely more fun. 

Take for instance last weekend, the MLBGG and I went to an establishment full of Texas fans. We even sat with Texas fans. And we, along with those very same Texas fans watched Texas lose. Not just lose, but pretty much get taken for a ride. I gotta tell ya, it was kinda fun. I’ve never sat there and watched the complete and utter dismay that brews when someone else’s team is getting destroyed. I thought to myself, so, this is what I look like when my Vols crumble (which happens way too often for my tastes but we aren’t going to talk about that ’cause we’re going to think positive thoughts). 

Unfortunately I didn’t watch enough football this weekend to enjoy the same experience. But my team did not disappoint and f*ck Florida lost, so I’m happy.  For now at least.

The SEC: where even the white kids are fast

October 8, 2007

 BATON ROUGE, LA - OCTOBER 06:  Running back Jacob Hester #18 of the LSU Tigers scores the game-winning touchdown in the fourth quarter against the Florida Gators at Tiger Stadium on October , 2007 in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. LSU defeated Florida 28-24.  (Photo by Doug Benc/Getty Images)

Welcome to The Mean Lil’ Black and Gold Girl’s most non -PC post yet, courtesy of the Nation of Islam Sports Blog. Everyone saw the (admittedly impressive) performance of Tim Tebow. He was running, gunning, running and running some more, with the occasional pass. And he’s white with a barely qualifying SAT score.  The times, they have a changed!

But this blog does not celebrate the achievements of (f*ck) Florida Gators, except when they come against overrated teams from other conferences which blow. Today, I am here to pay tribute to a Tiger whom has entered legendary status with a undeniably gutsy performance, a young man who is probably sorer than some of my hasher friends (TOM), who has earned a lifetime of free massages and bowls of gumbo, and who is the rarest of commodities these days:  the white running back who is actually a signifcant part of the offense. Coach Les called the plays, but the boys had to make them. And there was no better one play made in Baton Rouge Saturday night than by the one and only Jacob Hester.

From the Nation of Islam Sports Blog:

Jacob Hester: Ode to the White Running Back

In days of yore, you ran free in packs
All over the field, white running backs.

Fast Negro runners with amazing grace,
Slowly began to take your place.

Once there was Riggins and his mohawk,
Now you line up and mostly block.

Slow of foot and without much style,
We watch you try and it makes us smile.

You lower your shoulders and get three yards,
Moving less like backs, more like guards.

They talk of your motor and how hard you compete,
And try not to mention your clumsy feet.

But like the infrequent moon that’s blue,
There are the times you still come through.

At the end of the game; it couldn’t come later,
You drove through the line to defeat the Gator.

Jacob Hester, we will cut you some slack
You aren’t too bad for a white running back.

The Definition of Entertainment and Questions to Ponder

October 8, 2007

Entertainment: sitting in a gay sports bar (the fabulous Nellie’s in Washington DC, located at 9th and U), having left the DC Red Dress Run, with smack talking Florida and USC fans.

Miles enjoys the win over the Gators.

PS…Thanks, Coaches’ wives.

PPS…Les, I doubt ye no more.

 Other questions to ponder from this most magnificent weekend:

Is Karl Dorrell the worst coach in college football?

Is USC the Randy Moss of Division I (or whatever it’s called now)? Sometimes, the Trojans just don’t feel like playing?

 Can I give Jim Harbaugh a big hug?

Is Jacob Hester done with his ice bath, and finished being attended to by several lovely LSU coeds? (And seriously ya’ll, his significant other ought to give him a big pass for Saturday night.)

Will Gainesville authorities now take Tony Joiner back into custody?

Can I give Jim Harbaugh a big hug?

Who was that team playing Georgia in Knoxville this weekend? And why have they just shown up?

Is Brian Kelly still at Cincinnati this time next year?

What is a Bearcat?

How will the media conspiracy market a Big East where the top teams are a basketball school that’s not such a basketball school anymore, and a team that didn’t exist twelve years ago?

The Big 12 North: It’s not for breakfast anymore (not a question, I know, but this is my dictatorship).

Can Clemson ever put a whole season together?

Stanford safety Bo McNally, left, intercepts a pass as Southern California wide receiver Vidal Hazelton, lower right, falls with seconds to go in the second half of their NCAA Football game, Saturday, Oct. 6, 2007, in Los Angeles. Looking on at right is Stanford linebacker Pat Maynor. Stanford upset USC,  24-23.

(Just threw that in there for more entertainment)

When will Pyrite Dom boosters start demanding that their team be ranked in the Top 25 and be in the Top 12 for the Harris Poll?

Can someone in the Big Ten Plus One step up and take out Mr. Sweater Vest?

Should I knock the Pac-2 back down to the Pac 1.5, at least for this week? (The answer to that question is “yes.”)

Can we all get together and put some love behind Boston College this week?

That is all.

Love, MLBGG

Volunteers: Ya’ll Should Have Picked the Right Goat

September 26, 2007

Um, just wanted to let you know, in case you were unaware, that the Kentucky Wildcats’ quartebacks coach, who has assisted Rich Brooks in making Wildcats’ sports relevant before November and the first tip-off, and helped get Andre Woodson on to the Heisman/ first round draft pick/ future rich young man list, is none other than:

RANDY SANDERS.

You may join me in crying, Rocky T*ts, although I know you have different reasons for your bitter, bitter tears.

http://www.ukathletics.com/index.php?s=&url_channel_id=-1&url_subchannel_id=&url_article_id=18869&change_well_id=2

Seriously, the more I read about po’ Randy, the more I realize the fat one should have been fired, not the skinny one. He had loyalty issues (in that he was way too loyal to Tennessee for his own good), and got the shaft, and not the fun one, in return. 

From the UK Athletics profile of Randy Sanders, who took the blame for the Season Which Is Not Spoken Of:

Prior to Kentucky, Sanders spent 22 seasons (1984-2005) as a player and coach at the University of Tennessee, including the last seven as offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach. He was named offensive coordinator after the 1998 regular season when David Cutcliffe became head coach at Ole Miss. Sanders’ first game as offensive coordinator was the 1999 Fiesta Bowl when the Volunteers defeated Florida State for the national championship.

A native of Morristown, Tenn., Sanders was a quarterback on the Tennessee football team from 1984-88. He earned four varsity letters and was a four-year member of the SEC Academic Honor Roll. He remained with the team as a volunteer assistant coach, helping coach the quarterbacks, in 1989-90 under Coach Johnny Majors.

Sanders was promoted to full-time assistant coach in 1991, working with the wide receivers in 1991-92. New head coach Phillip Fulmer named him running backs coach and recruiting coordinator in 1993. Sanders stayed in those roles, recruiting the players that took Tennessee to the national title, (emphasis added, just to point out that would include Saint Peyton and Jamal Lewis) before moving to offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach following Cutcliffe’s departure.

While Sanders was on the Tennessee coaching staff, the Vols had a record of 162-46-2 (.776) and won four SEC championships and six Eastern Division crowns in addition to their national title. The Vols played in 16 bowl games, including four Citrus Bowls, three Fiesta Bowls, three Cotton Bowls, two Peach Bowls, and once each in the Sugar, Orange, Hall of Fame, and Gator bowls.